In what world is it OK to spit near a person walking by? Why would a man leave a girl to walk home alone in the dark? What type of person does not hold the door for someone who is walking right behind them?
Have you ever asked yourself these questions or others similar to them? If you have, you are familiar with: The anti-gentleman.
He can inhabit any environment, but he thrives on college campuses where the notorious hook-up culture prospers and people seem to endure his casual, discourteous, and sometimes very rude behavior.
Many of my friends and I exchange stories of our close encounters with the anti-gentleman, and I would like to share a few because maybe, just maybe, the anti-gentleman does not know of any other way to act.
*Names have been changed to protect identities
Amelia’s Log, 3/15/11: Got coffee at the campus café and headed towards the library ready to study for finals. A bunch of guys are standing outside the library, and I don’t pay much attention until…*splat* a wad of disgusting spit from one of the guys flies within 2 or 3 feet of me. Spit guy looks at me and my grossed-out face, says nothing, and goes back to talking with his buddies. The anti-gentleman made me nauseous.
Katie’s Diary, 3/07/11: I went out Friday night to see a movie and get ice cream with a few friends. I had arrived with my guy friend to ensure I would not be walking home alone in the dark on a busy Friday night. However, my friend ditched me last minute after my other friends had gone their separate ways and also after I told him I’d prefer walking with someone! My apartment was not that far away, so I decided to just suck it up and walk back alone. It was probably one of the scariest walks back with drunks all around, darkness, and being a girl, you can imagine guys shamelessly approaching me asking me why I walking all by myself and if I need somewhere to stay. I’m very sad to find out that my guy friend (and many other men on campus ) is an anti-gentleman.
Amanda’s Tweet, 3/02/11: Walking into Econ & guy ran up ahead to catch the closing door, but didn’t bother to hold it for others! How rude. #antigentleman
These true and all too common stories are often accepted as “the way things are in today’s world,” but I, along with many women, are not willing to settle. I hope that the anti-gentleman recognizes his very inconsiderate behavior towards others and feels a need to set a better example. Perhaps NeW’s efforts on campus through the Gentlemen’s Showcase will enlighten and help him become a gentleman, too!
Did you have an encounter with the anti-gentleman? Share it here!