Online Book Club Chapter 3

October 6, 2009 | Annemarie

Sex, sex and more sex. Our culture is obsessed with it. Why? Why are we stuck on sex? I honestly think it’s because we all have a desire to be loved. Physical intimacy is one of the most beautiful physical expressions of love between a man and a woman. Why then are feminists arguing that love has nothing to do with it? On page 25-26, Carrie Lukas quotes feminist author Sally Cline on sex and it’s divorce from love.

“What the Genital Appropriation Era actually permitted was more access to women’s bodies by more men; what it actually achieved was not a great deal of liberation for women but a great deal of legitimacy for male promiscuity; what it actually passed on to women was the male fragmentation of emotion from body, and the easily internalized schism between genital sex and responsible loving.”

Leora Tanenbaum, author of Slut! Growing up Female with a Bad Reputation, argues that the opposite is true.

“Tanenbaum’s definition of a ‘healthy’ attitude toward sex is one that’s primarily physical and allows a woman to shrug off the loss of a lover. She goes on to contrast the boring lives that those who equate sex with love can expect with the vibrant, colorful lives enjoyed by sexually active women who forgo monogamy.”

After I read Tanenbaum’s description of casual sex I was suprised. Women who engage in casual sex are happier? I don’t see how that is possible. What is happier about making yourself physically and emotionally vulnerable to a man you know nothing about? What is happier about having sex with a man who thinks of you as an item rather than a human? What is happier about having physical relations with a man who could very well have an STD? What is happier about having sex with a man who fathers your child but could care less about either of you? Really, Ms. Tanenbaum? I don’t see how casual sex can possibly make a woman happier.

I propose that women are happiest when they are in a committed relationship, i.e. marriage and enjoying physical relations with a man they emotionally, physically and mentally love. Women are happiest when they can give themselves over to a man they know loves them no matter what. Women are happiest when they experience physical pleasure coupled with love.
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