New Perversions

November 11, 2008 | NeW Staff

Chapter 4 in Wendy Shalit’s book, A Return to Modesty: Discovering The Lost Virtue, is full of interesting interviews, provoking thoughts, and leading questions. A whole essay could be written in response to this chapter.

What are these new perversions? In this day and age, is it embarrassing to reveal that deep down inside you are a romantic and are still waiting for love? Why is a girl socially exiled when it gets around that she is still a virgin?

Before we get to these questions and other issues, I want to introduce you all to the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States – SIECUS. Shalit only mentions this organization in reference to a survey that Roper Starch conducted in association with SIECUS. They found that girls and boys have different attitudes about sex.

“Girls are more likely to say they ‘should have waited until they were older’ to have sex” (62% vs. 48%), and “Girls are much more likely to say they were in love with their last sexual partner (71%) compared to boys (45%).”

Why is this?

Shalit gives another example of a study that shows that girls are still engaging in casual sex with hope for a romantic outcome. This itself causes many problems. Kierkegaard says this about it:

“Romantic love presents an analogy to morality by reason of the presumptive eternity which ennobles it and saves it from being mere sensuality.”

Kant put it this way:

“Sexual love makes of the loved person an object of appetite; as soon as one has the person and the appetite has been stilled, the person is cast aside as one casts away a lemon which has been sucked dry.”

Do you agree that without love, the “companion” becomes the observer? As independent women of the modern age, are we truly independent? Or are we just afraid to say what is important to us in our private lives, because we might be publicly scorned as “abnormal”? What kind of men will the boys of today turn into? What is valued most in women? What is valued most in men? How does today’s society define “love”?

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