Loving & Cheating

July 15, 2011 | Elizabeth

In a documentary available free through Netflix and other movie sites, called Loving & Cheating, the issue of monogamy is discussed by couples in many different life situations. (Just a warning, it does have some mature rated material and in my opinion, obscene opinions and descriptions, but you can fast forward through them.)

It’s interesting, because in 1900 1/8 of marriages ended in divorce and in 2000 it changed to 1/2 of marriages. (It’s important that when looking at marriage and divorce statistics that it takes in consideration people who have had multiple divorces which may increase the number tremendously.)

“We are driven to monogamy not because of morality, but because of exhaustion.” is one quote from the movie’s participants.

Excuses for monogamy not working by participants included it being too long, too boring and simply unnatural. One couple, who declares themselves as swingers said that it’s impossible to find one person to meet all of your needs, and if you really love someone, you should be happy when they find someone that can service a need better than you.

This baffled me, shocked me and simply…scared me.

What is our culture talking about? Monogamy is unhealthy? Monogamy is useless? Monogamy is just not right?

So many studies have been conducted on how cheating and the hook up culture have had an effect on individuals. Some people are commitment-phobes, some have lost all hope and others embrace the lifestyle as the only way to be accepted.

I believe marriage and monogamy need to be stood up for. It’s a stable relationship that is best for both the individuals involved and potential children that may come into the picture. Of course, not all of us can have the ideal situation of having both a mother and father around and there are plenty of single parents and untraditional family structures that work. But, why not protect a relationship that we all aspire to have? Why should we settle for less?

When I look at both sets of my grandparents who have been married for over 50 years and my parents who have been married for over 20, I want what they have. A support, a comfort; someone that adores them, loves them, forgives them and someone they would do anything for. If you don’t have a committed relationship-you won’t have that unconditional love and support I described…you’ll have someone that can pass through and leave when things get tough. And I hope that society begins to realize what they are missing out on.

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