How Different Wedding Planning Can Be!

March 13, 2009 | NeW Staff

Recently, I came across something very interesting on the Feministing Blog.
As I have been planning my own wedding, I am always excited find out
what other brides-to-be are doing and talking about. However, I quickly
learned that our thoughts on weddings and marriage were quite

First of all, one of the things I am the most excited about is taking
on the last name of my current fiancé. I am thrilled that we will
officially become one family. However, these women seem to think
otherwise. They suggest coming up with a new last name for you and your
husband to share. One blogger staked out her independence:

“I’m keeping
my last name. I think hyphenation is nice – and that’s probably the
route we’ll go with kids – but I like my last name. A bunch. I’ve even
considered adding in my mother’s last name as well.”

Somehow those
options do not seem to be all that practical or constructive.

As well, those on the blog who admit that they are getting married seem
to feel guilty for getting married and worried about going against
their principles. I would argue that if you have such a hard time
rationalizing getting married, maybe you should reevaluate why you are
getting married in the first place. I know full well that I am
embarking on a new life, and I am well aware I will not be as
independent. But having someone to share my life with, someone to
challenge me to grow, and someone to remind me that I don’t live for
myself alone is exciting.

And finally, I find it confusing that some women want to use
gender-neutral vows. Why would it matter if you say husband and wife,
if in fact you will become husband and wife? I just can’t seem to
understand why stating the truth should be so difficult.

In the
meantime, I look forward to planning a wedding without worrying about
how to use gender-sensitive language or fretting over going against my
principles for getting married or trying to come up with a new last
name. Let’s celebrate the joy of traditional marriage instead!

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