Conference Countdown: 3 Days
June 24, 2008 | NeW Staff
Three more days!
From Chapter 3, “About Marriage,”
“Gloria Steinem once joked that we have become ‘the husbands we wanted to marry,’ but maybe the truth is that we are in danger of becoming the husbands we left behind: balky, self-absorbed, and supremely sure that our needs should come before anyone else’s. And no matter how entitled some women feel to such behavior, it will hardly help us to achieve the lasting, happy marriages most of us still profess to want. Modern women often complain that they are baffled by their own lives: At precisely the moment they feel that they’ve purged themselves of all thier self-doubt and personal weakness–when they at last feel themeselves ready for a serious relationship with a man–no men, or should I say no marriageable men, seem anywhere in sight. Or when we do get married, we congratulate ourselves that our marriages are much more fair and equal than those of our parents and then wonder why our marriages don’t last. Puzzled by this mystery, we read articles and listen to experts, who advise us to demand ever more fairness, ever more equality, ever more autonomy in our relationships. In fact, of course, the only mystery here is how we have managed to make ourselves so blind. If good marriages seem ore unattainable than ever before, it is because of our determination to remain as separate and distinct individuals within an institution that demands the opposite from us, that insists upon the merging of identity–of both husband and wife–if it is to be sustained.” (p. 91)