This week, the Online Book Club will be discussing Chapter 2 of Deborah Tannen’s book, Talking from 9 to 5, “I’m Sorry, I’m Not Apologizing: Conversational Rituals.”
The communication patterns of men and women have been ingrained in each gender from an early age. In this chapter, Tannen evaluates how specific patterns solidify through social interactions. Specifically, attention is given to habitual apologies and expressions of “thank you.” Women indulge in these conversational rituals much more frequently than men, translating to others as a sign of insecurity. Furthermore, these rituals, if not reciprocated, may automatically place an individual in the undesirable “one-down” position. Likewise, women are not as adept at avoiding this position, primarily because they have not been trained to do so when interacting with other women. Based on these differences, Tannen asserts that individuals who share the same conversational rituals tend to understand one another best.
We hope you will join in our discussion this week!