Yesterday, The Atlantic published an article titled, In Relationships, Be Deliberate, which caught my attention. Are couples today being deliberate in their relationships? Or simply cohabiting?
That question matters in terms of the length and quality of subsequent marriage. Traditionalists tend to think cohabiting before marriage is a bad idea, and progressives are more likely to embrace it, but new research says that’s not the best way to approach the question: The important thing is how couples make the leap into a shared life.
On college campuses across the country, the hook-up culture is dominant causing couples to slide through relationship milestones instead of being intentional in their plans for shared lives.
Think of the college couple whose relationship began as a random hookup, the couple who moved in together so that they could pay less rent, or the couple who chose to elope on a whim rather than have a formal wedding. These are couples who, often without realizing it, slid through relationship transitions.
The article points to research that shows the very act of planning, discussing, and debating traditional milestones will strengthen relationships. So, be deliberate.