Karin Agness in the Washington Examiner

by Sarah on April 26, 2013 · 1 comment

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Earlier this week NeW Founder and President Karin Agness wrote an op-ed about college relationships, “SWUGlife” and the Gentlemen’s Showcase for The Washington ExaminerFrom the article:

[Gentlemen’s Showcase 2012 winner Alfonse] Muglia doesn’t seem like someone who will dismiss all senior women, but instead someone who will respect them. Rather than giving up on men, SWUGs should make sure they are looking for the right kind of men and encouraging the right kind of behavior.

Read the entire piece here.

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fran froelich April 26, 2013 at 11:44 am

When I was in college back in the 60s, there were plenty of dysfunctional guys then, too. In those days, it was either attend college or be drafted & go to Viet Nam. As a result, there were an awful lot of obnoxious guys who really shouldn’t have been in college. There weren’t “date rape” drugs as such, but there was plenty of drinking & date rapes. Climate for the latter was a good deal worse than now because a young woman whose date raped her was blamed for being too provocative. Worse, if she insisted on pressing charges, she was shamed into withdrawing them, saying that the MAN’S future would be ruined, never mind about hers. (Anyone see last Wed.’s episode of “Law & Order: SVU”?) Also, it was much harder to document these incidents as cell phone cameras or even camcorders, which came before, hadn’t yet been invented. It was an awful lot harder to hide a movie camera!
By all logic, I should’ve been one of those SWUGS. I was one of those kids everyone bullied & it continued thru part of freshman year in college. People can smell anyone who’s desperate for recognition, approval, or sheer attention. In fact, I had several incidents of borderline rape. But I met my future husband early in my sophomore year. We were married 2 years later, stayed married for 43 years till his death two years ago. I’d have to say that women looking for suitable men should avoid the fraternity & jock scenes. A lot of those guys have a sense of entitlement. And it’s ever been thus. (Tho I must be quick to say, one of the nicest, most unforgettable college friendships I had was w/a jock, but we were simply buddies w/no expectation on either side of anything more. I was sorry that he transferred out before my future husband transferred in.)
My future husband preferred to hang out @ the library rather than the football field. His interests were strictly intellectual. He was also very much anti-substance of any kind. I must stress the importance of staying sober & insisting that any guys who date do the same. The whole drinking scene, too often, leads to the very dysfunctional behavior that’s deplored in this forum. I can’t say enuf how much heartbreak & worse can be avoided by avoiding drinking. This doesn’t make me a Prohibitionist, but it’s really a lot safer to avoid booze altogether & avoid those who need it for a good time.
Point I’m trying to make, once again, is that there are a lot of undiscovered treasures out there if one thinks out of the socially elite box. And, for 43 years, I was lucky enuf to have had one.

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