How Different Wedding Planning Can Be!

by NeW Staff on March 13, 2009 · 0 comments

Recently, I came across something very interesting on the Feministing Blog. As I have been planning my own wedding, I am always excited find out what other brides-to-be are doing and talking about. However, I quickly learned that our thoughts on weddings and marriage were quite different.

First of all, one of the things I am the most excited about is taking on the last name of my current fiancé. I am thrilled that we will officially become one family. However, these women seem to think otherwise. They suggest coming up with a new last name for you and your husband to share. One blogger staked out her independence:

“I'm keeping my last name. I think hyphenation is nice - and that's probably the route we'll go with kids - but I like my last name. A bunch. I've even considered adding in my mother's last name as well.”

Somehow those options do not seem to be all that practical or constructive.

As well, those on the blog who admit that they are getting married seem to feel guilty for getting married and worried about going against their principles. I would argue that if you have such a hard time rationalizing getting married, maybe you should reevaluate why you are getting married in the first place. I know full well that I am embarking on a new life, and I am well aware I will not be as independent. But having someone to share my life with, someone to challenge me to grow, and someone to remind me that I don’t live for myself alone is exciting.

And finally, I find it confusing that some women want to use gender-neutral vows. Why would it matter if you say husband and wife, if in fact you will become husband and wife? I just can’t seem to understand why stating the truth should be so difficult.

In the meantime, I look forward to planning a wedding without worrying about how to use gender-sensitive language or fretting over going against my principles for getting married or trying to come up with a new last name. Let’s celebrate the joy of traditional marriage instead!

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